“ALL QUESTIONS ANSWERED HERE.”

Scattered throughout festival grounds, question-and-answer booths are set up inviting queries of any variety. So I asked one of my own: What’s the weirdest question you’ve heard?

Literally all nine booths I visited told me the most common question was “What’s the meaning of life?”

And all agreed that it is in fact funny every time.

One booth attendant in the VIP area, who preferred not to give her name, was asked a trivia question and discovered her correct answer came with a prize.

“What’s the fastest land animal?”
“Did you know?”
“I did and then he gave me free ice cream.” (Cheetah)

Emilie Tan at booth 5 had fun making someone dance to get an answer. (Consider yourself warned.) When someone asked her “why does my mother-in-law hate me?” she was unfazed.

“You should probably ask yourself that question first,” she said.

Another word of advice? Don’t go to booth 7 fishing for compliments.

“Who’s cuter, me or him?” Lisa Nguyen recalled. “I said, neither.”

People went to booth 8 looking for Dan Savage.

“Does anal hurt?” someone asked Chloe, who asked to go by her first name only. “It was traumatizing.”

Another: “Am I going to fall in love?” Debby Engelbart at the same booth answered sagely, “yes, but not at Coachella.”

As for the meaning of life, every attendant had a stock response, but only one had a strategy.

“Just say Jesus and the conversation stops,” said Anthony Trevino at booth 9.